Some days success alights upon me:
I'm a helpful volunteer at school, I finish my freelance assignment with confidence, I've exercised and prepared a healthy meal for dinner.
Look—a beam of light is shining upon my brow, crowning me for a day well done!

Some days feel defeated when the day has just begun:
Why do I obsess over small things and keep fussing at the kid?
What happened to my attempt at being more laid back?
Why do I want an entire box of Cheez-Its and Diet Coke to be my lunch?

Most days fall somewhere in between:
some failures; some victories; lots of learning along the way.

When I focus on futile attempts at perfection, I'll only remember the defeated days. Or I'll discount the victories that happened on those in between days.

But beauty can be found in each day when I look for it.
Beauty can be found in me too.

Those scuffs and scratches and bent edges of me testify to the wisdom I've gained in trial and error. And today is no different. I've already experienced parental regret in one hour but found confidence in facing a scary task the next—and it's not even noon yet!

So here's to facing today's trial and error, successes and defeats.
And finding the grace to try again tomorrow.

Not all of us are patient enough to teach. I count myself among that number.

Although I've taught in small groups and youth groups over the years, though I've taught my child a thing or two, and though I've had to teach a few tasks in the workplace, I struggle to remain a patient instructor. Clearly I can see what needs to be done. Clearly I understand how to do it myself. And when it takes f-o-r-e-v-e-r for someone else to grasp what I already know, I can be a wee bit huffy.

[Sidebar: Because I have a tendency to get frustrated and bossy, especially with my own kin, that's why Steve taught Kaelyn how to ride a bike. That's also why some day it will be Steve who teaches her to drive. I'm already planning on staying far away!]

Have you ever had to teach people something that comes naturally to you? You may wish the lesson to be over. Or you may just not want to see them struggle any longer. In those moments, it's easy to want to grab the task back out of their hands and just do it yourself.

[Sidebar: Insert SNL skit here where Jimmy Fallon plays "your company's computer guy" and yells "MOVE!" to fix a problem himself. Love that!]

But if we're patient enough to allow people to struggle a bit in the learning process, they will grow because of it. They will have to figure it out. If we take over, they learn nothing.

I wonder if that's what God does for us. When I pray, I seek the easy solution. Whatever causes the least amount of struggle for me, for those I love. And sometimes those burdens are lifted. But what about when they aren't? Is God simply ignoring us?

Perhaps God isn't standing far away, doing nothing. Perhaps He's committing the biggest action of all: restraint.

What if God knows that the burdens we struggle with will make us amazing people in the long run? He sees the pain that we endure. But He also sees the end result. Have you ever imagined how hard it is for God to NOT take over? Does His heart break as He holds back His power in order to let us grow?

We'll never fully understand Him. But today this perspective causes me to keep trusting.

I've had two incidents this week when I've realized that I've hurt people. One was a recent conversation and the other was something I'd done long ago. And this same week I also witnessed a third incident where a person had been hurt by an omission. I was more of an outsider on that one, but I was part of it nonetheless.

What is going on this week? What is God trying to teach me?

At first I reeled from seeing my faults. I felt justified in my initial actions. I said what was true. What was necessary. I couldn't help that someone else felt bad in the long run. So why should I feel bad?

Then I realized I am just like those hurt people. At least twice a month (maybe twice a week?) I feel miffed and sad and hurt by something I see as a slight. Only later do I understand that I might have been extra sensitive and that the intent of others wasn't as mean as I'd conjured in my mind.

So I put myself in these three individual's situations. How would I have felt if I was on the receiving end of my words, my actions, my oversight?

It's easy for me to see when others are harsh with the truth. Just because a person is right or has an opinion doesn't mean these views have to be thrown in a person's face or dumped ungraciously in someone's lap. I claim to be a victim of this behavior all the time.

But what about when I'm the bully? When I feel attacked, I can zing back with the best of them. When I'm frustrated and feel like I'm not being heard, I loudly lament and hope someone feels sorry for me.

This is not the kind of person I want to present to the world. This is not the kind of role model I want to be for my daughter. There is a way to speak (and act on) the truth in love. I just have to take the time to find that way.

And so I had to apologize. Three times.

It's never easy. I hope that next week less reparation is necessary. :) I know I'll still stick my foot in my mouth. But maybe it will start to happen less.