Speaking the Truth—in Love
I've had two incidents this week when I've realized that I've hurt people. One was a recent conversation and the other was something I'd done long ago. And this same week I also witnessed a third incident where a person had been hurt by an omission. I was more of an outsider on that one, but I was part of it nonetheless.
What is going on this week? What is God trying to teach me?
At first I reeled from seeing my faults. I felt justified in my initial actions. I said what was true. What was necessary. I couldn't help that someone else felt bad in the long run. So why should I feel bad?
Then I realized I am just like those hurt people. At least twice a month (maybe twice a week?) I feel miffed and sad and hurt by something I see as a slight. Only later do I understand that I might have been extra sensitive and that the intent of others wasn't as mean as I'd conjured in my mind.
So I put myself in these three individual's situations. How would I have felt if I was on the receiving end of my words, my actions, my oversight?
It's easy for me to see when others are harsh with the truth. Just because a person is right or has an opinion doesn't mean these views have to be thrown in a person's face or dumped ungraciously in someone's lap. I claim to be a victim of this behavior all the time.
But what about when I'm the bully? When I feel attacked, I can zing back with the best of them. When I'm frustrated and feel like I'm not being heard, I loudly lament and hope someone feels sorry for me.
This is not the kind of person I want to present to the world. This is not the kind of role model I want to be for my daughter. There is a way to speak (and act on) the truth in love. I just have to take the time to find that way.
And so I had to apologize. Three times.
It's never easy. I hope that next week less reparation is necessary. :) I know I'll still stick my foot in my mouth. But maybe it will start to happen less.
What is going on this week? What is God trying to teach me?
At first I reeled from seeing my faults. I felt justified in my initial actions. I said what was true. What was necessary. I couldn't help that someone else felt bad in the long run. So why should I feel bad?
Then I realized I am just like those hurt people. At least twice a month (maybe twice a week?) I feel miffed and sad and hurt by something I see as a slight. Only later do I understand that I might have been extra sensitive and that the intent of others wasn't as mean as I'd conjured in my mind.
So I put myself in these three individual's situations. How would I have felt if I was on the receiving end of my words, my actions, my oversight?
It's easy for me to see when others are harsh with the truth. Just because a person is right or has an opinion doesn't mean these views have to be thrown in a person's face or dumped ungraciously in someone's lap. I claim to be a victim of this behavior all the time.
But what about when I'm the bully? When I feel attacked, I can zing back with the best of them. When I'm frustrated and feel like I'm not being heard, I loudly lament and hope someone feels sorry for me.
This is not the kind of person I want to present to the world. This is not the kind of role model I want to be for my daughter. There is a way to speak (and act on) the truth in love. I just have to take the time to find that way.
And so I had to apologize. Three times.
It's never easy. I hope that next week less reparation is necessary. :) I know I'll still stick my foot in my mouth. But maybe it will start to happen less.